


Trying to make an introduction.

by Tentat



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Drama, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 18:41:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10622820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tentat/pseuds/Tentat
Summary: A writer tries to make an introduction to a new story he is working on. But is interrupted repeatedly by characters from the world he would write about.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all, this is a little story that came to me. While I was writing a different story. I just had to write it down.
> 
> It has not been beta read, so bear with me since English is not my first langauge.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Disney, Zootopia or any characters from that movie. But I own Lilianna and Mike and their world.

”War… War never…”

(In the background you can hear the sound of a door being kicked in, followed by a very loud gun shot that ends in a small explosion).

“Hmm, I still think that these Bullets are overkill Lilianna.” Said a deep bass voice.

“I think you´re right, Mike and what does our Author mean by war never change? He change it all the time in our stories!!!” said the smoky soprano voice of Lilianna.

(Running footsteps can be heard in the background and another person enters the room).

“For the love of… YOU two have murdered yet another Narrator! Why oh why… don´t you two know how hard it is to find one of them? **Fuck**  now I have to do it myself again.” Said a voice clearly belonging to the Author.

“Hey, you created us like this remember!” said Lilianna and Mike together.

Pointing at them the Author said “Not one more word from you two or I´ll kill you off before the first chapter is finished.”

“Meee… Not the first time you threatened us with that. But you can´t make stories without us. Right Lilianna?” Returned Mike.

Lilianna only stuck her tongue out at the Author.

“Ohh so mature Lilianna. Now both zip it. Go into the coffee room and shame on you.” The Author said as he pointed to a door with the sign “Coffee lounge” on it.

(The sound of feet and paws moving away can be heard and that a door is opened).

“Well, where was…” began the Author when he was interrupted.

(Loud voices can be heard from the coffee lounge).

“Mike, there is a red Canidae at the coffee table, do you think we can play with him?” came Lilianna´s exited voice.

“Heeey... I´m a Vulpine, not a Canidae.” A hurt voice said.

“Does it look like we care? No, no we don´t.” came the replies synchronously from Lilianna and Mike.

“Carrots where are you? I’m getting bullied by a mean Human and a mean Feline.” came the slightly frustrated voice of the Vulpine.

“Terran… I´m a Terran.” Said Mike in a mirthful way.

“Aaand I’m a Shiniah.” Came it teasingly from Lilianna.

“W-why do you look at me like I´m your new chew toy.” This time the Vulpine´s voice sounded a little scared.

The Author was about to turn around to yell at them all. When something or someone tapped him on the thigh and a female voice said.

“Excuse me. Sir. But according to our contract with Disney, we cannot be part of any story there are not made by them!”

While trying to hide his beginning annoyance, the Author looked down to find a grey and white rabbit looking up at him.

In a sickly sweet voice, the Author asked. “Judy. Have you read the fine print in the contract?”

“Yes, and you may still not use me.” Judy said with a smirk.

“Not that. All the way down there.” The Author pointed down the page.

“That is just a juice or Coffee stain.” Pointed Judy out.

Judy´s confidence faded as she looked up from the contract again. The Author showed her a teeth showing smile and had an evil glint in his eyes. He held a magnifying glass toward her. “Here use this.” The last word was said almost in a hiss.

While Judy read what was in fine print, her ear dropped down and her smirk disappeared. She looked up with wide eyes at the Author. “Yeesss…” he said with his own evil smirk. “As long as I make a **Disclaimer** that I do not own Zootopia or any characters from that movie and that I won´t make a **profit** from it or any stories I make. I can use you **exactly** as I want to.” The Author´s voice was slightly sinister, as he explained it to Judy.

“So if you do not want to see yourself as a regular member of The Mystic Spring Oasis. I would suggest that you hop back to the others in the coffee lounge. Like in right NOW!” Said the Author while he again pointed towards that room.

“Oh, sweet cheese and crackers.” Whispered Judy horrified. Before she stormed towards the room the Author pointed out.

“Okay so where was I… oh yes I was going to give a…” The Author didn´t get further in his explanation, before voice´s from the coffee lounge interrupted him again.

“CARROOTS! Where were you? Those tw…” the Vulpine was cut short by Judy´s voice.

“Nicholas, how many times have I told you not to call me Carrots off screen? I seriously hate that name.” said Judy in a stern voice.

“B-but I thought that we were friends C… erhm Judy” came the rather defeated response from Nicholas.

“We are Nick, you are a close friend and I really like hanging out with you. But I really hate being called Carrots off screen.” Said Judy in a much softer voice this time.

“Anyway have you seen what this contract says?” continued Judy.

There was silence for a few minutes and the Author thought that his wish had finally been granted. Then there came a loud barking laughter from Nick “Hahaha… They hustled you good Judy.”

“This is a standard contract, Nick. Sooo I bet that the one you have are saying the exact same thing as mine does.” Replied Judy dryly.

“ **What**!” The sound of paper being shuffled franticly could be heard. “NO No no no nooooo, this can´t be right.” Said Nick horrified.

(A roaring laughter could be heard from Lilianna and Mike).

“Why are you two laughing? this concerns you too!” Said an indignant Judy.

“No not really. We were created by the Author.” They said in unison still laughing.

“That´s it!” The Author said with a hint of anger in his voice.

(A chair was pushed loudly back and hard footsteps where heard moving away).

“All of you. ZIP IT! I can´t concentrate in there and I really need to make this introduction for my new story.” The Author berated the four in the coffee lounge.

“Sorry, we will try to keep it down.” came it from Judy and Nick looking rather embarrassed, the other two just looked indifferent.

The Author pointed at Lilianna and Mike “You two behave or…”

“Or what? Going to kill us ehh?” teased Mike, Lilianna just glanced at the Author trying to hide her giggling. Judy and Nick just looked dumbfounded at their behavior.

“Nooo, I´m going to make this into a **Romantic Comedy** with loads of drama and slices of life. Instead of a Science fiction/Action story.” The Author said in an evil tone.

The couple’s eyes widen in horror with that statement “We will behave.” Came the fast reply from them.

“That´s what I thought.” The Author said while turning to head back to the other room.

“Okay, let’s try this again. This story is going to be…”

(A roar is heard outside the door and a suddenly a Tigress is standing there looking very angry).

The Author hides his face in his hands and slightly groaned “What now?”

“Why have **you** changed my gender to female?” roared the angry Tigress. At the same time a White timber wolf steps up beside the tigress and chipped in.

“And why have **you** changed my species from a polar bear to a wolf?”

Without removing his hands, The Author slowly let out a sigh and told them in a tired voice why. “It is called creative freedom and it is more suited to this story, that you are a tigress than a tiger, Fangmeyer and if you complain I’m going to have you wear pink skirts **all** the time.”

Fangmeyer there was about to complain, shut his mouth real fast again.

“And it is the same reason, why I´ve changed your species Alex Grizzoli, any complaint about it or do you want to wear a pink skirt also?”

“No.” said Alex fast while shaking his head in fear, thinking it was a good idea not to antagonize the Author any more than necessary.

“Good, why don´t you two join the others in the coffee lounge then.”

(paws were heard moving away and the Author tried to find a reason why the Universe was against him).

“erhm, Hello there.” Came a sweet little voice.

The Author peaked through his fingers and saw a little Eve standing on a chair in front of him.

“Why have you made me a crazy psychotic Mammal” She asked innocently.

“Because you are a crazy psychotic mammal, Dawn” deadpanned the Author.

“Oh, okay.” Dawn said then jumped down the chair to get to the coffee lounge, while she did that a Pig and a Boar came up to the Author.

“Where can we find the coffee lounge?” the Pig asked in a light voice.

This stunned the Author somewhat, since he had expected more complains. “What you are not going to complain or something, Jane Swinton?”

“Of Couse not dear, why should I? you are giving me a bigger role to play than I got in the movie and a husband.” Jane said with a smile.

The Author just pointed after Dawn speechless.

“Thank you.” Jane said going after Dawn followed by her husband there just gave the Author a smile.

(Looking around to see no one to interrupt him and only hearing muffled voices from the coffee lounge the Author, felt his spirit raise).

“Finally I might get this done now.” He said to himself.

“The story is going to be a three-part act. First part will be taking…” “Excuuuse me sir. Are we late?” said a jovial voice.

The Author slammed his head into the table in front of him in pure frustration, then proceeded with slowly turning his head to see who it was there interrupted him this time. A chubby cheetah and a large stern looking water buffalo was standing just inside the door looking at him. Putting on a fake smile he said “No, you two are not late Benjamin.” Mumbling to himself “You are just interrupting me in my work.”

“Oh goodie, see Adrian we are not late” said Benjamin in a cheerful voice to the water buffalo. Walking over to the table he continued “You see Adrian here was worried that we would be late, to this meeting. Because I just had to download Gazelles newest song.”

The Author just sat there looking at Benjamin with murder in his eyes, going over all the horrible scenarios he could put this chubby cheetah through. Benjamin was obvious to the glare he was getting and continued “Have you heard it? It is soooo god.”

“Benjamin!”

“Oh and I was so excited doing that concert.”

“Clawhauser!”

“And I almost fainted when I greeted Gazelle backstage afterwards, I got her auto…”

“ **Benjamin Clawhauser!** ” The Author almost roared now “Shut up, before I make you a beat cop on a strict diet, who are not allowed to eat doughnuts!”

There where utter silence after he yelled that, even the muffled sounds from the coffee lounge where silenced.

“You wouldn´t.” whispered Benjamin in a frightful voice.

“Watch me.” Sneered the Author “Now go!” pointing towards the door. Benjamin ran over to the door leading to the coffee lounge, quickly opening it and hurried inside slamming it behind him.

Adrian just stood there giving the Author a death stare, which was equally returned. Long minutes went by, them just staring at each other. It seemed like steam was coming out of Adrian´s nostrils. The Author took his time seizing up Adrian, before he slowly began to speak.

“Adrian Bogo, if you corporate… I will let you use Nicholas Wilde as your personal sparring partner, when you demonstrate takedowns in the ZPD training ring.”

Slowly an evil grin showed on Adrian´s lips “Deal.” He said, then went the same way as Benjamin.

Now with everybody present. The Author was sure there would be no more interruptions. Finally, he should be able to make that introduction for his new story. “As I was saying the story is going to be a three-act piece, book one is going to…”

(The Author was again interrupted by loud voices from the coffee lounge).

“ **Judy!** Why are Adrian sitting over there looking at me with such an evil grin?” asked Nick in a worried voice.

“What? Oh Nick what have you done now?” Judy´s tired voice asked.

(A cracking sound was heard in front of the Author).

The Author looked down, only to see that in his frustration he had squeezed the recorder, he was using, so hard that it had cracked. “Oh I give up… I´m done, finished. Can´t get anything done in this damn mad house.”

He threw the recorder into the wall and with firm steps went over and pulled the door open, so that it almost came off the hinges. He scanned the surprised group inside with absolute murder in his eyes. he pointed at Lilianna and Mike “You two, get out there and clean up **now**.”

“Why us” they asked dissatisfied.

“You killed the Narrator, you cleanup.” Was the curt answer.

They obediently shuffled off to start cleaning. “The rest of you…” A pointed finger moved between them. “get out… get out now, before I seriously think about just nuking Zootropia.” This was said in a low hissing voice.

Nick spoke for all of them in a nervous laughter. “You can´t just nuke our home… it wouldn´t make any sense in the story.”

The Author turned his head giving Nick a stare and he just kept stared without saying anything until Nick began to fidget under it. After a long time, the Author spoke up.

“It’s called a Dues ex machina, Nick. Think of this. Suddenly over Zootopia a fleet of alien spacecraft´s appeared, they nuked the city to the ground and flew off on their merry way. **The End!** would any of you like that?” There was a chorus of “Nooo´s” from the group and they all left in a hurry, leaving the Author standing alone in the room.

He facepalmed himself, thinking on how much easier it had been when he only had Lilianna and Mike to deal with.

**The End.**


End file.
